But..most of the time...absolutely amazing.
I don't know what to pray for.
There are so many things I could ask for. Better health. Success. Rizq. Happiness. Peace. A future I cannot yet see.
Then I remembered that Allah knows what my heart needs better than I do.
So today, my dua is simple:
For Him to grant what is best for me in this world and the hereafter. Open the doors that led me closer to Him. Close the ones that will harm me. To have barakah, contentment and peace in every part of my life. Forgive my shortcoming. Make me among those who attain Jannah.
Ameen.
Because sometimes what I want may not be the best for me. May not be what God want for me. So lets just put the trust in the One who already knows.
Cuz i'm a real tough kid..
Whats worse than losing ur dad?
Having him alive but feels like you don’t have one.
What a dream to be a dad’s girl.
But it’s okay..
“In another life, I would be your girl…”
…
another life means in heaven..
where i’m heading to..
One day..
Cuz God is fair.
..for everything that i lost in this duniya,
it will be replaced in akhirah..
InshaAllah 🤍
A month ago, I wrote about the changes my body had been going through this year: loss of appetite, weight loss, and insomnia. At the time, I thought it was simply part of getting older. Maybe this was just another phase of aging that I had to accept.
But something interesting has happened this week.
My appetite is back.
My weight stops reducing.
And most importantly, I can sleep at night.
The doctor in me has started revisiting what happened over the past few months.
I stopped craving coffee. Food became uninteresting. Even things I genuinely enjoyed seemed to lose their spark. There was even a period when Pilates no longer gave me that familiar sense of satisfaction or endorphin rush. I kept showing up, but the reward wasn't there. Looking back, I wonder whether that was anhedonia, the diminished ability to feel pleasure from things that once brought joy.
Now, things feel different again.
Food tastes good. Coffee and cakes sound appealing. My appetite has returned. This morning I had gastritis, a strange problem to have after weeks of barely feeling hungry.
Possible contributed by endorphins from the exercises. Work up my body so hard that Brad has no room to enter my mind.
It's fascinating how much our minds and bodies are intertwined. Sometimes we search for explanations in age, hormones, stress, or illness, only to realize the answer may be far more complex or perhaps a combination of all of them.
Life has a way of quietly shifting beneath our feet. One day, you stop enjoying the things you love and barely notice it happening. Then, just as quietly, the colors begin to return.
A strange phase of life indeed.
Attended my first Hyrox class yesterday, totally fun!
*god, pls take away all the symptoms but leave my weight as it is..*
..what my friends called it when I told them I wanted to do these three things this year:
1. Pilates : to try all types of it (Done!)
I’ve been doing reformer Pilates religiously for the past two years. So at the beginning of this year, I challenged myself to explore other forms of Pilates. Now that we're halfway through the year, I've already ticked off most of my wishlist: hot mat, tower, chair, cadillac, and even barre classes. Mission accomplished. Of course, once I completed the list, I had to level up the challenge. My next goal? Try Pilates overseas.
2. Freedive (Booked a class!)
This one is a little outside my comfort zone. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I can do it, but I've booked myself into a beginner's class and I'm determined to give it a shot. *Fingers crossed*
3. Hyrox (still analysing…)
HYROX wasn't even on my radar at the start of the year. Lately, though, I've been looking for a new challenge because, as much as I love Pilates, it's starting to feel a little too familiar. Earlier on, a friend suggested Hyrox to me and i just brush it off saying that naah its not my thing. Then, out of nowhere, they announced that HYROX is coming to Malaysia this year. So harus FOMO. Plus, i am joining strength gym class now. If I manage to secure a place, I'm taking that as my sign. Maybe that's my next adventure. I can finally make use all my running shoes that I overbought-but-underused for the run training. Going to my first Hyrox class next week!!!!!! Scared but excited.
My friends call this my "midlife crisis era."
I prefer to think of it as my wellness era.
..when hospital calls..
...or when u call and i dont pick up
Thats how all my friends ended up doing pilates.
#truestory
when i saw ppl write something about healthy lifestyle to promote longevity.
it makes me wonder why would they want to live until they are 90-100 years old..
while me: i dont want to grow old..i wanna stay forever young (which impossible). but yes i don't think i wanna live until i'm 90.
but i still take care of my health cuz i dont want to fall sick, feels the pain and waiting to die for days at hospital. and i do exercise for the endorphins.
i want to die peacefully. before i get too old.
something i pray to God.
to take me when my deeds is enough for me to go to heaven.
Nevertheless i love my elderly patients
And.. they love me too 🥰
Work has been pretty chill these days.
Whenever my friends rant about work, I honestly can't relate.
Whenever I casually mention my Friday afternoon Pilates class, they'll immediately go:
"Untunglah... ada afternoon break."
And I'm like, "Girl, nobody forced you to choose your discipline. We need to work smart, not just hard."
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