Count Your Blessing or Suffering?

People always say, "Count your blessings".

I agree.

But lately, I've been thinking..maybe I should count my sufferings too (i have plenty of it).

Because of this ayat:

1. "If you are grateful, I am surely will surely increase you (in favour)" - Surah Ibrahim 14:7

Every blessings no matter how small it is, it is a gift from Him. Gratitude brings you barakah, peace.

2. "Do people think that they will be left to say, "We Believe" and they will not be tested? - Surah Al 'Ankabut 29:2

The duniya is a test and Jannah is the reward for the believer. Every hardship is a test and every moment of sabr and redha is never wasted, it will be rewarded. 

I've been trying to change the way I make dua. Instead of spending most of it asking Allah what I desire in this dunia as well as akhirah, I spend more of thanking Him for what He has given me.

And when life hurts, instead of asking "Why me?", I want to remind myself that this is another reward being prepared for me. As Dr Imam said, think of it as a deferred payment that I can claim in akhirah. InshaAllah. All I have to do is walking with sabr, accept with redha, trust that Allah never let a single tear, disappointment or an ounce of hardship go to waste.

Perhaps not every blessing is meant to come in this life. But simply being saved for Jannah.

So now, I count both my blessings and sufferings. 

Because both are signs that Allah is taking care of me, just in different ways.

:)

Hyrox

 ….is over for meeee.

I got in early. There were only 2k ppl in front of me.

Got in. Pick the tix. Guess i took slight longer at the flex option cuz i was confused. Then click proceed. Bam sold out!

So sadddddd..

Tried other categories. Even pro ones. Same story. The moment i wanna pay —> failed!!

Liyana: its ok, we plan..but who is the best planner?

Me: idk. You or me?

Liyana: *she gives me cold hard stare* ALLAH la woi!

Me: oops sorry. Brain loading. Post traumatic stress tk dpt ticket.

*baru pergi talk Imam Omar Suleiman last weekend*

 Liyana: its okay la boleh continue training without the race

Me: what do u mean? Its like study without exam! Whats the point?? *hi achiever trait*

Liyana: sama la mcm u pergi pilates

Me: if ada olympic for pilates, i will join!

This is harder than battle for Coldplay tix. Wawawawa.

For coldplay i still got time to think!

How Are You?

 

Another day, another flex 😉

She’s A Genius

The other day i watched an IG reel on “suicidal ideation”. The person was telling like how she just found out having an ideation is not normal. Like she thought everyone may have it once in awhile.

Wait..it’s not normal to have it? Even during your tough season? Cuz I do have it sometimes… as long as i can remember. It comes and go. On my defence, ideation and intention are two different things. And i’m that smart to be able to differentiate it.

Then she shared her discussion with her therapist, it’s a form of escapism. Kinda makes sense.

If you dont understand, it’s a privelege. (Seems to be my fav sentence this day)

But now i know whenever i have the thoughts, i should do this..

(Context:  It was my first try to dive) 

I was super confident. Inhale. Hold ur breath. Equalize. Dive. Equalize again.

But then, the moment I reached the bottom. 

I panicked. 

I can’t breathe.

Geez…i got scared…of death.

Just like that, i found the will to live again. 🤣

Genius, i am..

Swim

 

My first freedive 🩵

Do it scared.. until it no longer scares you.

Grief

Grief comes and goes like waves.

This morning, i felt it again.

Couldn’t stop the tears, so I put on my best makeup to conceal it and wear the best smile to face the day.

Grateful today is busy clinic day, it will keep my mind occupied, even if only for a while.

Like every wave, grief has its peak. And eventually, it recedes.

All I have to do is hold on and wait.

This too shall pass.. 

Happy Birthday, B.

If you’ve lost someone, you’ll understand..

If you don’t, it’s a privilege.

Risk It All

While many doctors hate their job, I love being one. Or maybe it is more of i love my patients.

My patients are my saviours, as much as I am theirs.

Just like today. I started the clinic with a heavy mind. Maybe it was Monday blues, or it was something quietly in my head that I couldnt fully name.

But the moment, i met my patients, my heart felt a little lighter. Like this boy, who seemed cheekier than usual. Tried to resonate why he didnt do what I advised him to do, in his playful energy. And somehow, I found myself smiling.

Me: Here is your MC dated today six…seven…(6/7/26)

Him: *pulls his cap down covering his face* i certainly sure he rolls his eyes underneath it.

 And this cutie, who sing “Risk It All” . 🥹

And just like that, the heaviness soften a little.

While i heal them, they heal me.

Baddie 🖤

Mirror, mirror on the wall..

Who’s the baddest of them all?

Yours truly.

Esok nk swim. Bubble bubble. 😶‍🌫️

Battlescar

 

Hope it heals, but it never does.

God..i dont feel good..

A reminder for me DO NOT ever again do back to back HYROX and Strength Training.

I was feeling fine after Hyrox. The strength class is a foundation class. In my mind it should be easy. Cmon, i used to do a 24hr oncall. And resume work for another 8 hours.

But damn, now i feel like shit. bit dizzy, super tireeeed. Yes it really feels like postcall, the badcall edition.

I hope i don’t get rhabdomyolysis.

I should sleep but I cant. I dont do naps.

My body is so used to sleep at night only..

Lets hope i will feel better the next morning.

Cuz I have pilates 🤏🏻

I know i should cancel the class, but mama didnt raise me to be a quitter. ;p

What’s wrong with meeeee

Stupid Song

 

I love you more than any stupid song could ever say.

D2: mummy, i think i know who is your fav artist. It’s olivia rodrigo!

Me: yeah..(been playing her songs quite often in the car). She just released her new album so im listening to it atm. Do u know she’s coming to Msia soon, to do concert here. Not sure I should go or not.

D2: mummy, you should! You are her fan! Her kipas.

Me: aaw.. (i wish ur dad thinks the same way, nnti mummy kena kecam in thread, pergi concert suami jaga anak di rumah) 

Knocking On Heaven’s Door

"Sebab syurga tu mahal..", a friend told me.

J: u rs i boleh masuk syurga ke?

L : why not. of course u can.

J: because i pray…but i still sin 

L: we are all human, and you have two tickets to jannah

Z: eh, why two?

J : Ya, 2 la. 

Z: no, no one only. The other one doesn’t count.

(…at this point i feel like i was at the gates of heaven, while 2 angels were arguing wether i have one or 2 golden pass that will guarantee my upgrade)

J: but..its not guaranteed..only if i am sabr facing the challenges.

L: no, you WILL get in.

Z: ya… maybe not the highest level, but at least the lowest heaven.

We all laughed.

…find yourself friends who can support your delulu dreams..

Who will also keep remind you that Allah’s mercy is always greater than your fear and doubts.

loml

it was love at first sight.

a cliche, yes.

the kind of thing u see in movies.

i never thought i would experience it.

i fell for the "get-love-quick" scheme, as Tay would put it.

it was legendary. momentary. 

everything felt effortless.

every conversation.

every laugh.

every stolen moment.

every k.

it felt like we had skipped all the difficult chapters and landed directly in the happy ending.

it was good while it lasted.

and worse when it ended.

i wish i could unrecall how we almost had it all.

you told me i was the love of your life.

then u became the loss of my life.

#firstlove #hbd