The Eid of Letting Go

It’s Arafah Day today.

And somehow, it took me almost 40 years to truly understand what this day is all about.

Alhamdulillah for time. Alhamdulillah for guidance. Alhamdulillah for the gentle reminders from Allah that often come exactly when we need them most.

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I started my day with tahajud, in the quiet darkness before Subuh. And throughout the day, I tried to fill my heart with fasting, zikr, doa, and reflection. Even in the car, I replaced music with zikr and Quran recitations. The silence felt different today. Softer. Calmer. More meaningful.

Arafah reminds me to ask forgiveness from Allah for all my sins, the visible ones and the hidden ones. But i also realised, I should also take time to forgive myself too.. To stop carrying every regret like a punishment. To stop replaying old wounds. To accept that I am still learning, still growing, still trying to return to Him again and again.

Earlier today, I came across a phrase that stayed with me: “The Eid of Letting Go.” And somehow, that was exactly what my heart needed to hear. Maybe this is the time to let go of the parts of myself that no longer bring me closer to Allah. The bad habits. The bad behaviours. The endless attachment to dunya that leaves the heart feeling heavy.

And today, I also found myself reflecting on the story of Prophet Ibrahim and Siti Hajar.

From the story of Prophet Ibrahim, I learn Arafah is not only about asking from Allah. Asking Him to fulfill every duas. It is also about surrendering to Him. 

Letting go. Trusting more. And hoping that, little by little, our hearts become softer and closer to Allah.

I was born in Zulhijjah, maybe that is why my parents named me Siti Hajar. There is something deeply comforting about her story. A woman placed in the middle of uncertainty, tested with struggle and fear yet she kept moving. She ran between Safa and Marwah searching for water, trusting Allah even when she could not yet see the outcome. And perhaps that is what I need to learn too. 

That life will always come with struggles.

That not every prayer is answered immediately.

That sometimes faith is simply continuing to walk, even when you feel tired.

Alhamdulillah for this reminder.

And Alhamdulillah for another chance to return.